Question: Dr Joy, what do I do about a boyfriend who I love very much who is insisting on continuing a phone relationship with a serious ex-girlfriend. Joy Browne: If this guy is good for you, expecting him to dump all other contacts isn't wise. I know he's a guy, but either you trust him or you don't. My personal rule of thumb is never before you know their middle name (and no fair asking on the first date).Question: How do you turn down a persistent suitor? The whole first quarter of my book is about getting yourself ready to date by knowing who you are. Think about it If you feel needy and find someone to take care of you, in a year you'll be unhappy because they're so controlling. How can I judge, on a first date, whether to open the door for her or not? Good manners are always in fashion, and if she can't be polite enough to accept your good manners, then maybe she needs a bit of finishing school. It's fun when both of you are trying to be really polite to one another. How do I get a little romance back in the relationship? Question: I never know whether a woman will be impressed by chivalrous behavior or if it will offend her sense of gender equality.Your heart has always been a risk, now the rest of your body is too, with all the nasty little diseases around. Or should we wait around and try to work things out? I'd drop the complaining about his ex and see how things go with you two. Joy Browne: If there's a question, I'd wait.Keeping sex special keeps your head, your heart, your soul, and your genitals in much better shape. Joy, I dated a woman for two years, broke up, and still have remained best friends for the last year. Joy Browne: Sounds like you both might benefit from no contact for six months or so. If you're friends first, if the sex is great, everything is terrific.
Joy Browne: Make eye contact, smile, flirt -- unless it's at work, and then I would suggest you wait till one of you leaves, since work is about competence, and dating is about fun and sex and neat stuff. Joy Browne: I know you'll hate this, but one full year after the divorce becomes final. Chapter 15: To Blab or Not to Blab: Sharing Personal Info. Younger girls don't seem as interesting in conversation. Joy Browne: Where are you meeting people, at AA meetings? Question: I'm 29 and having a hard time meeting a girl my age without serious baggage. You can't love someone you can't trust, and you don't know someone until you've had enough time to learn to trust them. It takes at least a couple of months to really know someone enough to know it's love, but enjoy the chemistry, just don't bank on it. Question: My boyfriend broke up with me four months ago, and he is living with another girl now. Question: Are men who say they are afraid and unsure of what they want telling the truth, or just not wanting to admit that they don't care for you enough? Unfortunately, both men and women tend to focus more on attracting someone than figuring out who they are and what they really want.